Day Thirty

Today's words:

Conductor

Guarantee

Radio

Chimpanzee

Novice

Custard

The train conductor

Said he couldn't guarantee

We wouldn't be bumped from the radio

In favor of reports of the chimpanzee

Who'd assaulted the novice

Zookeeper by throwing his custard

At her. I get it, I'm no fan of custard

Either, but when the train conductor

Claims the novice

Engineer had just taken over, you can guarantee

That the story of the chimpanzee

Won't get much radio

Time either. I know they try to soothe on the radio,

And be bland as custard,

Hence the emphasis on chimpanzee

Stories, but when the conductor

Of a doomed train can guarantee

The fault was with the novice

Engineer, that's news. Why did they let the novice

Take over? Did the order go to everyone's radio

Or just some? I can guarantee

There's more to this custard

Than meets the eye. Per the conductor,

A chimpanzee

Might as well have been driving. Or maybe a chimpanzee

Would have been better than that novice,

With less training than a new conductor.

"When I heard that on my radio,"

He said, "My knees turned to custard.

"I could nearly guarantee

"There'd be a problem." Well, that guarantee

Happened, apparently. So much for the chimpanzee

And the custard. 

Only a novice

Reporter on the radio

Wouldn't believe the conductor.

However, I guarantee you that sometimes a novice

Can be right. So the chimpanzee got on the radio

In place of the custard invented by the disgruntled conductor.